A Little Leap of Faith

I originally started this blog with the intention of updating it with little insights that come to me as I read the scriptures. ...Well folks, it turns out that's a lot more intimidating than I was hoping it would be. For the most part, I keep my thoughts and impressions from my readings to myself. I share a few with select friends that I know I can trust, and I might share a few in some of my classes. But sharing them with the world (or even with the small number of people who will ever read this), is so much more nerve-wracking! It feels like I'm taking pieces of the most intimate part of myself and putting them on the line - not knowing if they'll be appreciated, judged, or even completely ignored. But then I was reminded by a friend that I have no way of knowing how many people it could bless if I share...and if I don't share at all then I know it won't bless anyone.

So I guess this is my little leap of faith.

Genesis 1:4 is a short and simple verse that I've looked over a lot of times in the past. But sometimes the most powerful insights are hidden within the verses that are often passed by, and this is one of those times. As I was reading, the last part of the phrase stuck out to me. God divided the light from the darkness. There are so many instances in life that are confusing for us, and we're faced with different decisions: Every. Single. Day. I don't think anyone would disagree with me if I said that it gets stressful. And the more crucial the decisions are, the more stressful the decisions are! If we mull them over for too long we can end up feeling lost and stuck in a rut. ...But God is able to divide light from darkness. He is able to comprehend the dilemmas that we just can't. If we turn our questions over to him and open our hearts to inspiration, he'll help us divide the light from the darkness. If we trust in him, he'll open our eyes so that we can see the path that lies in front of us.

Masterpiece

I was assigned to teach again in relief society this past Sunday and, just like the first time that I taught, I got nervous and felt completely inadequate. I put off preparing my lesson for a while because I quite frankly doubted that I could come up with anything that the girls in my class truly needed to hear. So when I first attempted to prepare, I simply read through the lesson and marked things that stood out to me. But when I finished I found that I didn’t feel very inspired or organized, so later that night I decided to go through the lesson once again – and this time I decided to rely on more than my own abilities. I cleared my mind for a moment, and then I started with a prayer in which I asked that my mind would be opened to the things that needed to be said. I prayed for guidance and comfort and the ability to teach by the spirit in order to touch the hearts of those in my class. Then I turned to the lesson again, and as I read through this second time, I had so many thoughts come to my mind that I felt like I didn’t have time to write them all. I quickly made notes in margins and on extra pieces of paper and told myself that as long as I got everything written, I could make sense of it later. When I finished, I was so inspired and enlightened, and I could feel the deep importance – yet simplicity – of the message that I was going to share. I didn’t end with the knowledge of any intricate plan that would lead any person on a sure path to true divinity, but I did end with the knowledge and reassurance of a sacred, precious truth.

The truth is, we all have divinity within us already. We spend so much time seeking for it and striving to attain it that we fail to see the divinity we already possess. We focus so heavily on the distorted, impossible standards of the world and we lose sight of who we really are. We are glorious sons and daughters of God. We were created very purposefully to live, learn, and grow, and to reach for the grand potential that we are intended for.

Now bear with me for just a little bit while I jump into just a few basics of art history…

The Byzantine art period is filled with beauty, and one form of art that has left a powerful mark is their mosaic. During this time they created these intricate mosaics using little glass pieces called tesserae. While they used many colors, the most significant of the pieces were gold and they were made by placing thin pieces of gold between two clear tesserae. Using this technique, they were able to literally cover the inner walls of their churches in gold – like the San Vitale in Ravenna, Italy.

Each of those little tesserae are the simple deeds we do and choices we make each day. On their own they may seem small and insignificant, but there is gold within them. There is greatness within the little moments of our lives. The greatness is something we can’t touch, see, or hold directly, but it exists through those simple and loving acts. Therein lies the beauty and value. And when you combine all of those tiny golden pieces, each and every one plays a role in creating the masterpiece of who you are. Unfortunately, we often rob ourselves of the chance to take in the complete beauty and wonder of who we really are because we don’t believe that we have anything more to offer than the few squares of glass that we can see directly in front of us. 

But if we will take a few steps back, we’ll quickly discover that those few squares form just a tiny portion of all that we really are. So turn to God and ask him to help you believe in and see yourself as he sees you. Because while God is aware of each individual square that has built us, he never loses sight of the full masterpiece.

Closer to Our Father and Closer to Christ

I was recently called as a Relief Society teacher in my YSA ward, and today was my first assigned lesson. I don’t consider myself a skilled teacher by any stretch of the imagination, but if nothing else this calling pushes me to spend more time really digging in to the lessons. I didn’t think I would be grateful for that, but then the spirit taught me so much in my preparation for today.

The core topic was scripture study, and as I prepared the lesson my mind kept returning to the opening quote: “May each of us…draw closer to our Father in Heaven and his Beloved Son through consistent study of the holy scriptures.”

Throughout the message there were many reasons given as to why we should study the scriptures and how we should study the scriptures, but in the end they all pointed back to that opening phrase – to draw closer. That’s the point of scripture study, and isn’t that really the point of this life too? So many thoughts flooded my mind as I sat pondering all that the words of the lesson were trying to convey, and I tried to write them down as quickly as I could so that I wouldn’t miss out on anything that the spirit was saying.

This is what came to me:

When you read a story, you start to invest in the characters and they become part of you. It’s the same way with the scriptures – they teach of our Heavenly Father and of our Savior Jesus Christ. So as we spend time reading the scriptures we will become more invested in them, and they will become more significant parts of our lives and who we are. Once we open our hearts to that, our lives will begin to change. We will become more faithful and obedient, we will trust God more fully, and our burdens will become bearable. The scriptures may not always be the answer to our problems, but the scriptures will absolutely bring the answers. I know that from my own life. In January I decided to make scripture reading a priority in my life again for probably the first time since high school, and I was changed. My problems didn’t go away. In fact, they probably increased at first…but I was reminded where I could turn for guidance and solace. The answers we seek may not come quickly. The answers I needed didn’t come until at least late March or early April – and I am continually seeking for more direction and support. But through our efforts and the added influence of the scriptures, the power of God can work in us to change our lives.

In General Conference of October 2014 Richard G. Scott said, “Don’t yield to Satan’s lie that you don’t have time to study the scriptures. Choose to take time to study them. Feasting on the word of God each day is more important that sleep, school, work, television shows, video games, or social media. You may need to reorganize your priorities to provide time for the study of the word of God. If so, do it.”

The Lord Knoweth All Things

Words of Mormon 1:7 – “…I do not know all things; but the Lord knoweth all things which are to come; wherefore, he worketh in me to do according to his will.”

No matter what stage of life you’re in, life is hard. I personally happen to be in the “college/young adult” phase, and there are just so many unknowns and so many bumps in the road. I feel like I never know what’s going on, where I’m going, what I’m supposed to be doing, or what’s expected of me. I’ve tried to form a loose plan for my life, but for the most part I feel like I’m really just walking blindly. Am I taking the right classes? Am I saying the right things? Am I setting the right goals for my future? Am I making a difference?

I feel like there’s so much more to being an adult than just what I’m doing, but I don’t know how to do anything else!

But I find comfort and power in knowing I don’t have to survive by my strength and knowledge alone. I don’t know or understand the purpose for all that I’m asked to go through right now, but I feel peace in knowing that God does. If I allow him to work in me, he will allow me to work through him and his power.

The curveballs that are thrown can be frustrating and confusing and disheartening, but even if the closed doors and the missed opportunities don’t make sense now, God has a plan. Even if I’ve lost hope, God knows my potential and purpose. When I feel weak and unable, God will be my strength.

Which Purpose I Know Not

1 Nephi 9:5 – “Wherefore, the Lord hath commanded me to make these plates for a wise purpose in him, which purpose I know not.”

I love that this verse shows the obedience and faith of Nephi. God had a plan and a purpose for Nephi to make the plates, but he didn’t tell him what it was – he told him to make the plates and left it at that. Because of his trust and love for God, Nephi didn’t require any more information. He believed God had a valid reason and that was enough for him. He made the plates and kept a faithful record. Thank goodness for that attitude and example, because where would we be without the things he wrote?

It’s difficult to act without knowing why, but just as Nephi had no idea what purpose or impact his writings would have on the world, we have no idea what impact we will have on the world either. We’re capable of so much more than we ever give ourselves credit for. When we set our goals as high as the trees, God sets his goals for us as high as the clouds. Make a commitment to follow the Lord as he directs you. Act in faith. God is aware; He is in control. If he asks you to do something, there’s a reason. You will find out in time what that reason is, and when that time comes you’ll be so grateful that you took the leap and followed the promptings of the spirit.

God knows you – he truly does. He understands your wants and desires, but he also clearly knows and understands your needs. If you will give him your heart and vow to follow him, he will lead you to a greater happiness than you could ever imagine on your own. Because he can see the true potential within us, he won’t let us settle. At times it may feel like something perfect was ripped out of your life, but sometimes your Plan B is God’s Plan A. So give his plan a chance. When you pass right through the destination you have in mind for yourself and end up in the destination God knows you truly deserve, you won’t be regretting it. Yesterday I was at a conference where one of the speakers said, “Ask the Lord what he wants you to become. If you strive for that, you will NEVER be disappointed in who you are and who you’ve become.”

Searching for Purpose

Nights like tonight are especially encouraging. Nights where you know you’re heard and know that even though you’re only one person out of billions, you matter.

I guess that makes it sound like something drastic happened, but that’s not the case. I just really love the little moments when I can receive the comfort and guidance from heaven that I can’t always seem to find on my own. For whatever reason, tonight was a little bit of a struggle for me. I was feeling down – maybe lonely or lost – because of the everyday trials that come along. As I knelt to say my prayers I expressed those emotions to Heavenly Father in the best way I could, and asked that as I did my nightly reading I would be comforted and guided to know what my purpose is.

When I ended my prayer I grabbed the book I’ve been reading from this past month – Pathways to Perfection by Thomas S. Monson – and opened up to a talk he’d given called The Search for Jesus. Just three paragraphs in is when I knew I’d been heard. “No search is so universal, no undertaking so richly rewarding, no effort so ennobling, no purpose so divine.” …Did you catch that? Purpose. The exact thing I prayed for. So I kept on reading and was trying to soak in everything I could, but as I read I was kind of having a little side conversation in my mind about what to do next. “Okay, so I need to search for Christ…how exactly do I do that? I feel like I’ve already been doing that…” Then the next thing I read let me know that He was still listening. “The formula for finding Jesus has always been and ever will be the same – the earnest and sincere prayer of a humble and pure heart.”

“Ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13).

I don’t want to be a complete spoiler, so I won’t give away the rest of the talk. I highly recommend reading it, though, because it’s powerful. It gives a reminder that we need to make room and time for Christ in our lives. I’ve made some room and some time, but I think I should probably make a little more. I mean, Heavenly Father and Jesus have obviously made time for me in their lives. They sent that message to me tonight. Loud and clear.