Worthy of Prayer

I used to think I understood prayer.

I’ve had lessons on it since before I was old enough to walk, and I still have frequent lessons about it now in college. But somehow through all of it, I didn’t quite take away what I was supposed to. My head heard the words, but my heart didn’t fully comprehend.

In Doctrine & Covenants 10:5 as well as in many other verses spread all throughout the scriptures, we’re directed to “pray always.” A pattern of prayer connects you to Heavenly Father and gives you power over Satan. But like I said, we’re supposed to seek that power always. Not just when life becomes too much and we’ve realized we’re weak. But until a week ago (or maybe closer to two now) I wasn’t applying those lessons and concepts to myself and to my life in the right way.

Because of the way I took it, I often felt guilty praying in the midst of my confusion and suffering. Through the various times of inconsistent to almost non-existent prayer in my life, I didn’t feel worthy of His support and guidance through my trials. I told myself on more than one occasion that since I wasn’t praying when life was good, I didn’t deserve His love and support when it wasn’t good. I didn’t want to use God. So my habits of pleading and prayer were often short-lived. I prayed occasionally, but didn’t want to form a habit of prayer out of my selfish needs. In my mind, that was the equivalent of the foolish man building his house on a foundation of sand. But then I came across a verse in Luke that says that in his agony, Christ prayed more earnestly. (Luke 22:44) And suddenly my heart understood too.

It’s okay if your trials are what bring you to your knees.

Our trials remind us of just how desperately we need God in our lives. They unveil the weaknesses we’ve been trying so hard to hide from, and they present opportunities for us to recommit ourselves to Him. There should be no guilt in turning back toward God, and there should be no fear either. No matter your reason for returning, or the detours you’ve taken along the path, He’s waiting with outstretched arms. He loves you with a love that is beyond the power of words, and he has never forgotten you.

It’s okay if your trials are what bring you to your knees.